Reading Time: 1.5 minutes (or however long it takes you to say "Oh, THAT'S what she meant")

Well, well, well.

My inbox exploded from a nastygram Wednesday. And I mean exploded in that special way that only happens when you've either said something brilliant or something that got completely misunderstood.

Spoiler alert: It was the latter.

Here's what happened: A reader unsubscribed—her prerogative, totally fine—but not before sending me a note:

And I thought: Huh. If one person missed the point this spectacularly, how many others did too? Let's check.

So let me be crystal clear about what that story was actually about, because it wasn't about diet culture, it wasn't about body-shaming, and it definitely wasn't about me endorsing cat food as a weight loss strategy (though the mental image is pretty funny).

Here's what the cat food story was about:

ACCOUNTABILITY.

It was about a woman who made a commitment to herself, created a visual reminder so powerful she couldn't ignore it, and followed through. The cat food could have been anything—a photo, a rock, a rubber band, a sticky note that said "DO THE THING." (I have a sticky in my pantry that says, "Remember your goals, H.")

-->The point was also that she created a system to hold herself accountable to her goal.

-->The point was she didn't wait for motivation, she engineered commitment.

-->The point was she took control of her life during a difficult time and made something happen.

When you're looking for offense, you'll find it. Even when it's not there.

Here's what this could teach about communication:

When your message gets misinterpreted, it might actually be a gift. It shows you where your communication might need clarification. It reveals what your audience is primed to hear based on their own filters and experiences.

This reader heard "weight loss" and immediately leapt to "fat-shaming" without catching the actual message about accountability systems, goal-setting, and follow-through.

It might not be her fault, because there's a lot of noise in today's culture around body image. I get it. It's her responsibility to see where she leapt to, "Honoree is fat-shaming! I'm unsubscribing!"

But it's also not my fault for telling a story about someone who set a goal and achieved it using an unconventional accountability method.

So let me clarify ICYMI:

The cat food story is about designing your environment and systems to support your goals—whatever they are. It's about the psychology of commitment devices. It's about not waiting until you "feel like it" to do the hard things.

If you read it as anything else, you brought that interpretation with you.

And hey, that's valuable information for both of us.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming:

Tomorrow, we're actually (finally) talking about how and why Ms. Cat Food kept the weight off for 20 years—because that's where the real story is.

Spoiler: It has nothing to do with cat food and everything to do with identity shifts and systems thinking.

If you got the intended message from the story, please reply. If you got what the unsubscriber got, I'd love to know. Either way, send me a note!

See you tomorrow,